Arranged marriage – It’s easier said than done

Even if nowadays parents arranged marriages are not as common as they were in the past, many people still find their partner with the help of their family. A marriage is considered a partnership between two persons who will start a family and who will work in its interest. When having a love marriage people have plenty of time to spend with each other and see if they are compatible, but the persons who get involved in arranged marriages meet the person they will spend their life with only a short time before the wedding. People who support arranged marriages consider that a partnership should be funded on integrity and truth, and this is why seniors should get involved in the process of choosing a partner for their children. The parents of the girl and boy first interact and they decide together if they consider that the marriage would work, and if their children are a match.

What parents should not say during a first meeting

  • That their children were involved in a relationship in the past

If you are in the role of a parent who wants to find a partner for your child, then you should not focus on the past relationships your son or daughter had. You should focus on finding them someone that will love and appreciate them. You do not want your prospective in-laws to ask you to offer them more details about the past relationships. This could have a negative result so you should try to share them only positive aspects. Prospective in-laws do not want to hear stories about your child’s exes, they want to see if your daughter or son is the right person for their child. Everyone has a past, so there is no use to use this subject during a first meeting.

  • You should not talk about the type of wedding you prefer

Many parents start the conversation about sharing their ideal wedding. This should not be a subject until you are not decided that your child will marry the child of the parents you meet. Why talking about your wedding preferences with people you are not sure that will be your in-laws. Also, your preferences may be the opposite of theirs, and this can destroy the chances you have to find a perfect match for your child. The wedding itself is not very important, it is important they to have a happy marriage. You will talk at one point about the wedding, because it comes with financial implications, but until you are not sure that you will join your families, you should not talk about this subject.

  • You should not talk about your fortune

During your first meeting you should not offer them information about your fortune, because they may not have a good first impression. During the first meeting you should talk about your children, to see if they could have a happy marriage or not, and not about your fortune. This is a subject that will come into discussion in time, but you do not have to offer the other parents these details during the first meeting.

  • My child suffers from a health issue

Yes, this is not an aspect you should hide the other parents, but until you are not sure that there can be a connection between your families, there is no reason to share them that your child suffers from a health issue. In the majority of cases the health issues you consider important, as allergies are not drawbacks in having a happy marriage, but if you highlight them during the first meeting, you do not have the chance to build a lifelong relationship for your son or daughter.

  • We researched your child

You may have done some research to find out more about their son or daughter, but there is no reason to tell the parents that you have done people search before the meeting. You have done it to make sure that you do not waste your time with this meeting, but the truth about their child you can find it only if you know them.

How to make an arranged married work

If the parents decided that a certain person is the right partner for you, then this part of the article will help you learn how to make your marriage work, even if it is not a love marriage.

  • Be optimistic

If you trust your parents to choose you your lifelong partner, then you should be optimistic because they know who the perfect match for their son or daughter is. Keep your mind open until you meet the person, because there are great chances they to amaze you. Studies show that the couples who are built with the help of parents tend to feel more in love with their partner as the time passes.

  • First be their friends

Yes, you are getting married, but this does not mean that you have to act as their husband or wife from the first moment you meet. First you should try to be friends, because it will help you get to know each other and discover what you have in common. You definitely share a lot of common interests, because your parents made sure to find someone who is the right partner for you, and they know you better than anyone.

  • Keep your expectations low

Do not go to the first date thinking that they are your Prince Charming or Cinderella. It is impossible to have no expectations, but try to keep them as low as possible, because in this way you will not be disappointed, and you will have time to discover their qualities. When you first meet try to find out as much as possible about one another and do not forget to ask them what they expect from this marriage. They are as anxious and nervous as you are, so there is no reason to feel stressed out. You will find a way to make the marriage work, and you will definitely love and respect each other.

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