Meeting your beloved person’s family for the first time is an event that can make your blood run cold with terror, especially if your partner actually tell his family is crazy or does not like to spend time with them. You can also make your own conclusions when hearing how your partner talks to their mother on the phone, how often does she call and at what time of the day, and whether there are any distance problems he already has about you. All this stuff will make you really stressed, but you cannot avoid meeting them forever.

Make sure you talk to your partner about all your problems and fears immediately, and honestly. It is totally natural to worry and be stressed to meet a family of your loved one, even if they are the best people on Earth. In fact, if they are the best people on Earth, you can be afraid to disappoint them; if they are the worst people on Earth, you can be afraid to cause conflict; both reasons are natural. But you two have to play on the same field. If you worry about particular questions about your relationships from the parents, agree on answering the same way. There is nothing bad if you met on wellhello dating a month ago and now think of moving in together, but perhaps his old-fashioned parents prefer to hear you met in a library.

Also, you have to understand that in case the situation turns awkward, your partner is the one to blame, and also is the one to suffer the most. Firstly, only he knows all the participants of the future events, and therefore should take action to make everything go as smoothly as possible; if he fails, there is little you as a third party can do. Secondly, in case there is no partner’s fault and the event just did not work out for everybody, he will suffer both from your reaction and from his parents’ comments. You as a stranger may not care whether they like you or not, in broader terms; but he cannot ignore his family’s opinion.

So, how to avoid disaster when meeting your lover’s parents?

List of Life-Saving Recommendations

The first advice has already been presented above. You have to be aware of what you are afraid of and talk to your partner honestly. Do not be afraid to offend him by stating you feel negative about the future experience. Also, try to follow the next tips:

• make the partner responsible for conciliation for family members. He has to create the best impression of you in the family, and also provide advice for you and prepare you to what may happen. Maybe nothing happens; however, if you are an introvert type of personality, for example, then hugs and kisses from three of his aunts and Granny will definitely put you into a shock.
• find out what kind of people are the family. Are they conservative, religious, phlegmatic? What topics are safe for conversation, and what is better to be avoided? What kind of clothes to put on? With time, you all will get used to each other, but the first meeting should be as neutral and harmless for all parties as possible.
• In case you are somewhat unconventional in appearance (hairstyle, piercing, tattoos, dressing style, etc.), do not try to pretend someone else. Sooner or later, unless you will meet each other once a year for Christmas, they will see you as you are in everyday life. So, do not hide all this stuff. However, what you must watch are your attitude and manners. Try to be neutral, nice, and polite. It is better to create the first impression of a shy or detached person than of a crazy, inadequate, unrestrained, or ill-mannered.
• In case your personal borders are violated during the meeting, speak about it politely, but directly, or avoid answering the question you would like to ignore. Just make sure you actually communicate and say at least something. Keeping silent and ignoring all personal questions does not look like a good strategy.
• If you believe something bad is happening, stay calm, neutral, and make sure your loved one plays on the same field as you. It is his responsibility to protect you in case the parents are impolite or tactless.
• Do not blame your partner if something goes wrong; he is as stressed as you are.

These are the main recommendations to follow when meeting the family of your loved one for the first time. And remember – even if they do not like you, do not try to change yourself, only to meet their expectations. You are a grown-up person and must please everybody around just because they believe you should.