Marriage. Are You Ready?

man woman marriageWhen is the right time to get married? There is no straight answer for this. The answer depends on many things. Some of the things you may consider whether or not you are ready for such event, include:

Age

Yes, this is a crucial factor. Making such a big decision such as getting married requires a mature mind. Some have married during their late teen years while some have decided to wait a little longer, maybe in their mid-twenties, in order to get married. The recommendation is to wait until you are passed your teen years. Why? This is because a teenager is not yet mature and what they want know may not be what they want in future. The qualities you may look for in a mate when you are a teenager will not be the same qualities when you look for in a mate when you are mature. Thus, it is wise to wait until you are in your mid-twenties before you marry so that you can make wise and mature decisions about what you want.

Length of Your Courtship

Some get married after a week of meeting each other. Some wait for a few months while some wait for a year or more. The purpose of dating is to see whether you are compatible with your partner or not for marriage. Thus, when you date for a week, that may not be sufficient time to know each other deeply. Will be ready for the wedding after a week following meeting someone? Some may say ‘We will know each other after marriage’. What if things do not work out? Will you be able to deal with the consequences of divorce on yourself and on your children if you happen to get some? Will you handle the heartbreak, court cases, emotional and mental wounds on you and your kids? The advice is to take your time and date for at least one year. Yes, some have had a good marriage when they have dated for a short period. However, not everyone is that fortunate.

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Sense of Commitment

If you still flirt with other people or are attracted to other people other than your partner, then you are not ready for marriage. If you cannot control yourself now, you will not control yourself when you are married. Remember, old habits die hard. Thus, you should not expect to stop the practice immediately you say ‘I do.’ That would be self-deceit.

Your Personality Traits

If you have any personality traits that may be causing you problems, then it is better to work on it before you get married. An example is your attitude when it comes to compromise. Do you at times let other people have their way, or you always have your way. Since you will differ with your partner at some point, you may be required to compromise and go along with what your partner wants. If you are not willing to cultivate this trait, then you are definitely not ready for marriage. The best way to know if your character will work well in a marriage is to see how you deal with your family members. How you deal with disagreements in the family and how you treat your family members is exactly the same way you will deal with your spouse. If you use silent treatment against your parents and siblings, then you will do the same thing with your spouse.

Discuss Financial Issues

Financial decisions should be made before marriage and not after marriage. Some questions you should have already discussed include will we equally share the cost of bills or will you be responsible only for certain bills? How much should the wedding cost and who will handle the payment? Am I in debt? If so, will I be able to pay it as well as pay bills around the house? Since money is a big issue and can even lead to divorce, it is important to deal with financial matters before you get married.

Of course, there are many other things to consider. These are just a few of them. So, when is the right time to get married? The appropriate answer is: when you are of age, when you have dated for a reasonable amount of time, when you have committed yourself to the relationship, when your personality traits are suitable to make the marriage last, and when you have discussed important issues such as financial issues and issues like whether or not to have children. If you have done all these, then you are ready.

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