A parent is a whole universe for the child. Mom and Dad are the first and the most influential people to form child’s mindset and beliefs. The youngsters perceive the world through the parents’ eyes and often evaluate themselves exactly the same way their parents do, fully accepting their viewpoint as final. It is very important for the adults to completely embrace their exceptional role in the baby’s upbringing taking full understanding that they are fully responsible for everything that is going to happen to them in future.
Certain types of parents like to exercise unlimited authority over their kids, even if it often happens unconsciously. However, in such a family one can grow up in a spoon-fed person with no qualities you normally need in your adult life. This is likely to develop into the inability to see which way the wind is blowing and make their own single-handed decisions, which can adversely affect their professional and personal life. Excessive criticism and repeated dispraise influence the kid’s ability to communicate with others resulting in low self-esteem.
When a baby is born they inherit the biomarkers from both of parents yet they also feel psychological atmosphere of their home, which depends only and directly on the adults. Children need food and warmth at biological level and love, care, dignity and positive emotions at psychological one. Experts claim that lack of affection may be the cause of morbidness and child mortality. As for the emotional level, parents have to learn how to love their child and also help them overcome psychological separation from them, which usually happens at the age of 2.5-3.5 years. At that very age, a person forms their own mind and starts to perceive themselves as an individual.
There is a misperception that the young ones are not easy to bring up due to their development level. The idea is quite wrong as a lot of information is absorbed on a subconscious level by the age of 3. Therefore, there is no reason to wait until the school age, so that those character traits and personality factors could be corrected. It’s more likely that such actions will lead to conflicts and disturb mutual understanding in the family.
The parents’ role during child’s early years is impossible to underestimate. All this time from birth to the first solo steps, it is the mother who is the most vital figure in the baby’s life, she breast-feeds the child giving all her love and care. There exists an innate need for deep harmonious bonds between mother and baby. The success of the child’s separation and personal growth is fully dependent on the closeness of the emotional family ties.
Both parents help their baby during the first months and years of life to explore the world and to feel reliance or vice versa to mistrust it. At this stage, it is important to keep emotional and spiritual ties with parents, confidence in their helpfulness. The children should be raised with the feeling that they are loved the way they are. They need soft and tender caress, smiles, lullabies, eye contact, talks in a sweet voice. As usual, if the male partner attends the childbirth and is actively involved in the baby care than afterwards it won’t be difficult for him to form a close relationship with his child.
As the child becomes a toddler, they begin to distance themselves from the parents physically. But at an emotional level, they remain dependent on the adults’ support and endorsement. The role of a father is increasing during this time because he can take the responsibility for the creation of a safe environment for a curious child: it’s better to remove all the expensive and dangerous things, make toys available, think of some educational games. Whereas it is important to remember that unreasonable taboos are not the most useful tools in the child upbringing. You will need a lot of patience to explain again and again why the child shouldn’t get close to a hot iron or a stove.
Reaching the age of 1.5-2 years, kids then gradually separate from their mother emotionally. The role of the father, who becomes the first friend, defender and comforter, slowly becomes more important. And children begin to understand that they are individuals with their own desires and needs. These changes may cause both happiness and fear, therefore, it is not unusual for outbursts with no good reason to happen. In such cases, children look for understanding, warm embrace and the acceptance of them growing up.
The child has already realized that the mom and dad love them simply for being who they are, but now their love should be a proof that they are happy for them to be growing up. There is no need for taking excessive parental care, because it is no longer a baby, requiring help in everything. Also, the mother needs to show the baby that the father should be also fully trusted. If there is an open relationship between the spouses, then the child will be equally confident in both parents. The father’s presence is especially important for boys because it is essential to develop the male self-identification in this period.
Being 2-3 years old, the baby is yet to master such actions as eating, dressing and practicing proper hygiene. It is necessary to motivate and stimulate the independence in these processes. It is important to avoid excessive criticism for any failures, the right answer is to stay calm and patient. Children want to feel that the parents believe in them. They will learn everything gradually, step by step. Moreover, not only their own desires appear but also the necessity of their active expression. The period when the child is three years old is often accompanied by the so-called crisis, which is often expressed in hysteria, aggression and protest. It is recommended to solve such situations without intimidation, shouting and punishing. Parents should stick to a general behavior model to prevent conflicts between themselves.
The period of gender identity happens at the age of 3-6 years and children start to identify themselves as males or females. Taking into account the observations and adults’ words kids build their own vision of the behavior typical for boys and girls, the role of men and women in the world. Primarily, teenagers tend to follow the model of spouse relations they see in their families. Girls begin showing interest towards household chores and try to help their mothers, while boys identify themselves with fathers and their duties.
The first years of a child’s life are certainly important in terms of identity formation, they influence the character of a person and their relationships. It depends on the parents what person their child will become and how easy it will be for them to find their place in the society.
