Friendship is one of the most beautiful things we can experience in our lives. A group of dedicated friends is something that makes us capable of achieving much more in life than we could have achieved alone. The moments we spend in the company of others make our lives more colorful.
Friends are people with whom we can feel comfortable and before whom we do not have to put on any mask. They are people we can just be ourselves with. Each of us could list many more advantages of having friends. There is no denying that our environment has a huge impact on us and our friends are a perfect example of this.
But what if, at some point, we notice that our circle of friends is gradually shrinking? This type of situation can happen to practically any of us. In this article, we have listed some of the reasons why we lose friends. Remember that if we know the causes for which we lose friends, we will be able to react quickly enough to the signs that appear, in order to save a dying friendship.
1. There is not enough time to cultivate friendships
Adulthood does not mean at all to do what we want. On the contrary, if we think about it, children have much more freedom than we do. As adults, we have to spend our time working, raising children, taking care of the house, or dealing with the authorities. We are constantly busy with something and very often we no longer have time for our friends. The problem for most of us is that we think of our friends as something that will be with us forever. We have the impression that once a friend is made, they will be our friend for life.
However, reality quickly verifies this perception of friendship. Any relationship that is neglected weakens over time, causing our friendship to end. If we see that we spend less and less time with our friends, it should not surprise us that our relationships with them grow apart. If we want to develop our relationships and stay in good company with our friends, then let’s try to spend more time with them than before. It is through spending time with others that we are able to get to know others and build strong relationships with them.
2. You can’t count on us
Trust is the foundation of a positive relationship between friends. It is said that we make true friends when we have a hard time, and there is a lot of truth in that. We don’t need friends who can’t be counted on. If we are unfaithful and deceitful, it should come as no surprise that our circle of friends is steadily dwindling. People just don’t feel comfortable around people they can’t trust.
Consider for a moment how often we find ourselves breaking our promises or defrauding someone’s trust. If this type of situation happens to us too often, it can be a great alarm signal for the people around us. Of course, we should not go from one extreme to another. Of course, sometimes we will fail to keep a promise, but this should not happen too often. Also, we should always compensate someone for our broken promises. This will ensure that we build positive relationships with others.
3. As we grow, our priorities change
As we move into adulthood, many changes take place in our lives. It is the period in which most of us discover new responsibilities. We started working full-time. We develop a loving relationship with another person. We form a family or raise a child. Frivolous time with friends takes a backseat at this point. We began to put family and professional matters above parties and meaningless gatherings.
Our priorities just change. We are starting to mature somewhat, which brings with it some benefits, but also a lot of new responsibilities. We start to notice that some of our friends deviate from our new lifestyle. By the time we start being housewives, we no longer want to be friends and hang out with party-going extroverts. Some of our character traits change, which means that our circle of friends will also start to change to one that suits us better.
4. Go out and change your life
Life is a constant change. Many people come to the conclusion at some point in their lives that they prefer to live in another city, country or continent. Since interpersonal friendships are primarily based on getting to know each other and being in the company of others, these changes mean that we lose the opportunity to interact daily and live with our current friends.
Of course, we can still communicate with our friends by phone or the Internet. However, this type of contact is not at the same level as encounters in real life. We find it difficult to open up to someone we only see on a screen. Travel and a change of environment always imply a change in our group of friends. We meet new people and establish new relationships. And while our existing friendships don’t necessarily fall apart overnight, the lack of physical contact makes it much harder to maintain friendships.
5. We don’t know how to apologize
Sometimes even silly and seemingly harmless arguments can turn into a serious crisis where our relationships with others fall apart. This applies to both friendships and love relationships. Most of us are selfish. We tend to put our own opinion above that of others, making it difficult for us to admit when we’re wrong or even understand the other person’s point of view. Without meaning to, we believe that we are always right and that everything we do is right.
This attitude often causes problems and tensions that damage relationships. Even when we think we have resolved an argument, this spark of insecurity and resentment always lingers and burns quietly in the bottom of our hearts until the next major argument erupts into a blaze of negative emotions. Therefore, sometimes we try to put our ego in a bag and just apologize to the other person.
However, it is important that our apology is really sincere. Often we automatically throw in a simple “Okay, I’m sorry” that isn’t convincing or really improves the situation. Instead, let’s try to put our whole hearts into our apology. Let’s try to explain to the other person that we have understood our mistake and in this way explain the misunderstanding that has occurred.
6. Meeting fewer and fewer new people
When we are children it is much easier for us to make new friends. When we go to school, participate in extracurricular activities, or participate in various camps and excursions, we make new contacts and establish interesting relationships. Our world is constantly changing and we meet more and more new people on our way. However, as we mature, our lives become more structured.
For the most part, we always surround ourselves with the same group of people. We start to fall into a work-home pattern, so we don’t get a chance to meet new people. On the other hand, as we get older, we acquire a certain secrecy regarding the people we surround ourselves with and it is quite difficult for us to meet random people we meet on the street or on public transport. We all have our own complicated lives and don’t usually want to open up to strangers.
7. We have lagged behind while others have developed
Each of us must develop, there is no doubt about it. Whether we’re talking about career, family, physical activity, or maybe our religiosity. Personal development in the broadest sense allows us to fully experience our life and all its colors. This makes our life more interesting and we explore our own horizons. However, despite this, it is observed that many people have not advanced a single step in their lives for years.
Many people continue to live the same life as a few years ago. We must also remember that we are a product of the people we encounter most often. This means that if we lack ambition and commitment to self-development, we may stop being attractive companions to people we’ve known for years.
Our mentality and our attitude towards the world begin to change as we get older and with the life experience, we have accumulated. Therefore, if we feel that our friends have left our circle of acquaintances, we must ask ourselves if we have simply fallen behind with others.
8. Some relationships harm us
Not all friendships are good for us. Not all the people we consider friends are really friends. Often, only with time do we realize that all the time we have only had an ideal image of the person in our head, which in no way reflects reality. Some people just don’t deserve our trust. Unfortunately, very often the fear of being alone is much stronger than common sense, which tells us that we must break toxic relationships.
Make no mistake, many people in our life make us feel bad and really only drag us down. Whether we are talking about a love relationship or a friendship, these types of situations must be cut by us as soon as possible. We shouldn’t feel the slightest remorse the moment we cut up with someone who doesn’t fit into our life. In this way we get rid of human parasites that only poison our life.
9. Maybe we are too pushy
Nobody seems to like people who are too pushy in their dealings with others. Even among the best of friends, there are certain topics and boundaries that we’d rather not cross. If we’re too open and start breaking the rules of our group, it shouldn’t be surprising that we get kicked out of the group.
Each of us has certain limits that we can bear. This applies to both positive and negative stimuli. If we don’t adapt our behavior to the environment and the norms between us and our friends, we may get kicked out. We must remember that even the calmest person can explode with anger if we pull the string. Therefore, we must constantly evaluate our own behavior and correct it if necessary.
In conclusion, there are many reasons why we lose our friends. Some of them are within our control, such as our bad behavior or lack of initiative. However, for others, we simply have to assume. Life is a constant change and we simply have to accept this fact. Remember that we should always be open to new relationships with other people, but at the same time, we should value our existing friendships. We hope that reading this article has helped you understand the reasons why we lose friends.
